My Mother is
Mary Louise Zavorka
18 April 1931 ~ 6 June 2005
Born: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Before I start I want to say that I hope this entry is as special as my Mom was. She's the woman I respect and admire most in the world. If I had just a little of her strength in my little finger I'd have enough for us all. She was a loved woman by all and especially my sisters and me. If there is any good in any of us it came from her. ... and beauty- shes beautiful inside and out. I love you mom, hope you are happy in Heaven! I know you have the best garden and you probably sew all the angels wings! I miss you everyday.
Before I start I want to say that I hope this entry is as special as my Mom was. She's the woman I respect and admire most in the world. If I had just a little of her strength in my little finger I'd have enough for us all. She was a loved woman by all and especially my sisters and me. If there is any good in any of us it came from her. ... and beauty- shes beautiful inside and out. I love you mom, hope you are happy in Heaven! I know you have the best garden and you probably sew all the angels wings! I miss you everyday.
Mary - Zavorka
I'm sorry, but when I talk about my mother, saying those names, its a little foreign to me. I never knew those were my mothers real names until I was in my 20's. As long as I knew her, she was called Marie Louise Rockson Twining. That was for most of, well, practically all of her life. When I asked her why she was called her Marie she said it was because it was the Scottish pronunciation of Mary. Marrreeee. In 1968, when she was a naturalized American citizen, that is when her name legally changed.
My sisters and I grew up at home with almost no pictures of her or her family. I say almost, but I should say there were NO family pictures displayed. She kept a few photographs in a suitcase in the closet. She once told me "that is the past, I don't think we should live in the past" Although those are good sentiments, now that I'm older and really admire who she was and what she stood for I wish I had daily conversation with her to know of her past, her childhood. When I asked, her usual comments was, "Oh, I can't be bothered with that". Occasionally she would slip and tell us tidbits here and there but she never really talked much about her life growing up. Later in life she told me that Scottish people are quiet and private. Scottish custom thinks that talking about your life is arrogant. I know she had la lot of love from her Granny and Papa who raise her, but I also know there were hard times and feeling of loneliness, being an outsider in her own home.
Her story is hard, secretive, long suffering, and yet very beautiful and moving.
Marie never knew her father.
Marie was born in Toronto, Ontario, Canada cir1931 at the above pictured Womens College Hospital. When she was 11 months old, she and her mother sailed on the Athenia from Canada arriving in Glasgow 5 April 1932. Alfred did not accompany them.
Somewhere on that boat ride, Jemima decided to change both of their names to Rockson. You see Zavorka is a German (Austrian) name and Jemima was afraid they both would be put into an internment camp due to WWII. She was also afraid of losing her daughter. So, without any legality, they assumed the name Rockson and dropped Zavorka. My mother told me the name Zavorka was not spoken of. Jemima never shared information with her about her father. Marie was raised by her grandparents. Her mother Jemima traveled to England for work and took up a housekeeper position for a wealthy family called the Butterworths.
Jemima lived at the Butterworth's house and was not able to have her child with her. So, Marie stayed back in Balfron Scotland to continue her school living with her aunts and uncles as her brothers and sisters. She saw her mother off and on as time would permit and very rarely when she was a little older she actually traveled to England to see her mom for a weekend. As a young child, she worked in the garden for hours and hours with her Papa. She learned much from him and carried that love of gardening throughout her life. Eventually her Papa became bedridden and they were no longer able to share that time together. I know she felt very loved by them, Granny and Papa, but being the youngest in the household, and being the only girl, she felt picked upon by others. The house section they lived in was small. It was one bedroom with Granny, Papa, Willie, David, Robert and Marie living there. She told me that her Granny and Papa were the loves of her childhood, the rest was unimportant.
Below is the house where she was raised. 17 George Terrace Balfron Scotland.
The Allen's lived 1/4 of the house. (the lower floor and only one side of it.)
This house still stands today.
Here is the one and only picture I have of my mother as a child.
She is 2nd from the right on the bottom row on their knees. She was an angel.
Taken at Balfron Primary School Balfron, Scotland cir.1940-42
About 1947 when my mom turned 16 she quit school and went to England to take up a housekeeping position at the Butterworths household where her mother worked. She knew she had a younger brother, but hadn't lived with him as he lived in England with Jemima. So, this was the first time she spent time with her brother David Gerrard Murray Rockson b 1941. He was about about 7 or 8 years old at this time. About 4 years later, in 1951 Marie gave birth to my eldest sister Louella Kay (Leonida) Rockson 24th of March 1951. Mom never married this man. Little is known about him. Then, she met an American GI stations in England, named Robert Lewis Twining and they were married on 22 June 1953. Bob adopted Louella and they began their family. Joanne Marie, b 1953, then Barbara Lynn (me) b1955
1535 Cromer their first apartment "Cheeky Monkey"
My mom... wow, very stylish in 1953! (....what i would give for that skirt and sweater!)
L- Mom Joanne and Louella (me in her tummy)
R Mom and some friends (me in her tummy)
(click on the picture to enlarge)
Below: Mom, Nanny (Jemima)
Joanne, Granny, Barbara (me) all swaddled up, and Louella
This picture is taken in the backyard of our house on Seagate Road.
Please Please NOTE:
Those DARLING KILTS!!!!
(click to enlarge)
Not exactly what you would call a cruise ship. : )
Looks more like a battle ship. No swimming pool, no billards room, no skeet shooting I'm sure!
I believe at this time we stayed with my Aunt Lola and Uncle Frank in New Jersey for a short time, then in Florida for a short time, awaiting new USAF assignments. When my we were in Florida, Marie became a Naturalized US Citizen. But the news came that my father was stationed back to England the same Sculthrope Base. here is our Immigration papers back to England.
We moved into the house next door to the house we lived in before we left England which was on Seagate Road. (you may need to read that again)
My younger sister Judy b1958 was born in that house. It was right next door to the house I was born in. 56 and 58 Seagate Road. I imagine my mother had home births for all of us up to this point.
My memories of my mom at this time are cooking and cleaning. I don't remember her being involved in any activities- just being a home mom. I am pretty sure our house was immaculate and we always had dinner on the table when Daddy got home.
After Judy a few years old, Daddy was station back to the US, and we left England for good. One memory of that move I have is the big grandfather clock we had. My mother like the grandfather clock and I remember the fight they had while my father chopped it into firewood because we couldn't ship it with us. When we arrived in the US we again stayed for a a short time in NJ then embarked on a road trip to TX. I don't remember much about that trip with exception to me sitting in the middle of the back seat. It was a big black sedan and me throwing up all over it outside the window. We finally stopped at the gas station while my dad cleaning off the side of the car. That is about all I remember about that trip. I am sure it was quite a trip for my Mom.
But now.....
the real story of my memories of my Mom begin here........
Denison Texas.
We enjoyed a year or two together as a family with my Dad stationed at Perrin AFB and my baby sister Geraldine was born in 1963. I remember going to see my mom and sister in the Military AFB hospital the day she delivered. Finally a hospital birth. I remember later my mom talking to a neighbor saying how lucky she was to be in the US because she was able to deliver in a hospital. She continued to be a stay at home mom- not necessarily by her choice. She did odd sewing jobs to make ends meet. She love to read and knit. She could read a paperback book in one or two days- one with maybe 350 pages. She could knit a sweater in two or three days. We always had dinners in the evening, we watched TV together.
My mom was forever doing laundry. You can imagine with 5 children! We didn't have a dryer so she had to hang the clothes outside. One incident I remember is that one night she went outside to get the laundry and she step down hard on a rake that was point up. The spikes went all the way through her foot. She ran to the bathroom, they pulled out the rake, and her foot began to bleed profusely. She was yelling at my older sisters to get me out of the bathroom. My dad took my mom to the base hospital for treatment. I remember her walking around on that bandaged foot for what seems like a month.
My parents were pretty strict but I think that comes with the military discipline my father had. I remember us being alone alot with just my Mom. My dad spent a lot of time at the base, or in the garage working on his radio "stuff".
I think it just about a year after DD was born, my Dad was stationed back to England. I remember the discussions that ensued. Do we go or do we stay. The kids are all in school. How long would it be? I am not sure of how the decision was reached, but it was decided that we would stay in the US and my Dad would return and serve in England for a shortened term because he left his family behind.
My dad was supposed to come back to his family in 2 years. But instead, he stayed longer and didn't come back until 1968.
At that time he served my mom with
Divorce papers
and left her and his family behind.
Dead Beat Dad.
Picture if you can....1968 a single woman about 40 years old, left all alone in the US
little formal education, no real job, all alone to fend for herself and these 5 girls.
This was not heard of in those times.
HOW DID SHE DO IT?????
She fought!
She worked her way through getting an American GED,
and by DAMN she was not going to lose this battle!
I know we got once a month pay check from the military until my dad retired in 1968. How did my mom make those stretch? When the military money stopped, the battle for financial support was never ending. How did she make ends meet, support all 5 of us girls, and also pay off loans and debts that she was left with after the divorce?
I know the electricity was turned off a few times, we couldn't do some things other kids could do, and there was little food at the end of the month. But my Mom was the one that kept it and all of us together. She never complained about anything. Clean your room, clean the bathroom was about it. But 5 girls must have given her plenty of headaches. I'm amazed she didn't just walk out the door!
She taught us all manners and respect. She taught us to be thankful for what we have. She taught us to be proud women, fend for ourselves, be creative and make things work. She taught a good work ethics and to be honest and true. Around town, we were know as the "Twining girls" which was said in a proud way.
Mom like to hum. She would stand at the stove cooking and she would hum... nothing in particular... just hum. She would sometimes break out into a current song which we would laugh at. However, I must say that I really didn't see my mom laugh much, she just seemed to survive. To hear her give a real real belly laugh is memory that is hard to conger up. I can also count on my one hand the number of times my mom ever went out, while we were still teenagers. She did join the British wives club and enjoyed that for a while.
Late in life she enjoyed quilting and did so until she couldn't see any longer. All of my children have quilts she made. She even made me a baby quilt for each one of my childrens first child when it was born. Several of these have been given after her death.
My Mom lost her battle with Cancer. It started as colon cancer for which she had surgery and later turned into Liver Cancer. It was the hardest thing to see her suffer. Louella was the only one in TX when she was sick so Louella took such loving care of her. Mom still passes by and honks the train horn to let Louella know she's still watching over us all. The Dove fly and the bunnies still gather as reminders of some special moments for us. (My sisters will know what this means)
if I was to describe my mom in several just words they would be
Strong, Honest, Trustworthy, Honorable, Compassionate, Invincible
Love you Mom, can't wait to see you again and hear your voice.
Mareseatoatsanddoeseatoatsandlittlelambseativy a kiddleeativeytoowouldn'tyou...
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